Depression – steps to recovery day 1

•2018/02/23 • Leave a Comment

I felt wonderful today to know that I’ve fallen into the slippery steps of depression. Which means I need to take extra steps to be careful and rewire my mind set to consciously look at the right side and positive and look at the best perceptive of something or someone.

The first I thing I did was to inform my old pal which I knew from young. Who was also there when I had the most severe bout of my depression in the army.

Next I met my trusted colleague and shared with him why I’ve been so negative and irritated and upset.

Some may advises me to visit a doc. I’ve seen one before in my army days. I gave up. And that was the most severe of my depression.

Now don’t get me wrong. I think the psychiatrist or whatever you call it is doing his job. But all he does is listen to you, and give you some drugs and MC. MC was the worst as it made my army mates to mock me and just at me. Not the best thing to do to someone who is depressed.

So yup! I felt awesome today. 🙂

Day 1 of recovery as of Feb 23 2018.


First Initial steps to depression recovery.

•2018/02/23 • Leave a Comment

First Initial steps to depression recovery.

The first and most important step to depression recovery for me was to recognize oneself is already in a state of depression. The problem with depression is that one does not realize the entrance down the slippery slope has started. It may feel like just another day, another day of boredom, of frustrations, of impatience, of being upset, of being angry, of being wanting to be alone, and the list goes on. It does not just happen overnight. It is gradual. Some more quickly than others, some slower.

I think there are some very obvious tell tale signs where one is falling or in a state of depression.

Trouble concentrating, remembering details, and making decisions
Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, and helplessness
Pessimism and hopelessness
Insomnia, early-morning wakefulness, or sleeping too much
Loss of interest in things once pleasurable, including sex
Overeating, or appetite loss
Aches, pains, headaches, or cramps that won’t go away
Digestive problems that don’t get better, even with treatment
Persistent sad, anxious, or “empty” feelings
Suicidal thoughts or attempts

(above list taken from

It took an ex colleague of mind who took his life to make me realize, perhaps I was in depression too, and thoughts of ending my life comes frequently. However, being a Christian, I know this life is not mine, but Christ. Thoughts of the consequences and the pain from my love ones if I did so, stopped me.

So yes, the very first step to depression recovery is to recognize one has it.

Christian Depression does happens

•2018/02/22 • Leave a Comment

I think I have 3 episodes of my life I had depression? I have no idea what triggered it. And I need to find it to avoid it. With the recurrence, being the 3rd time, I think I can recognize when I’m falling into depression.

1996, 2009, 2018. It was easy to recognize for me because it follows a similar pattern. And with this online diary. I can trace back easily.

Depression is just like parallel to Power of Love by Huey Lewis?

The power of depression is a curious thing
Make a one man weep, make another man sing
Change a heart to a little white dove
More than a feeling, that’s the power of depression

Tougher than diamonds, whips like cream
Stronger and harder than a bad girls dream
Make a bad one good, mmm make a wrong right
Power of depression will keep you home at night

Don’t need money, don’t take fame
Don’t need no credit card to ride this train
It’s strong and it’s sudden and it’s cruel sometimes
But it might just end your life
That’s the power of depression
That’s the power of depression

First time you feed it might make you sad
Next time you feed it might make you mad
But you’ll be glad baby when you’ve found
That’s the power that makes the world go round

Don’t need money, don’t take fame
Don’t need no credit card to ride this train
It’s strong and it’s sudden and it’s cruel sometimes
But it might just end your life

They say that all in depression is fair
Yeah but you don’t care
But you know what to do
When it gets hold of you
And with no little help from above
You feel the power of depression
You feel the power of depression
Can you feel it?

Don’t take money, don’t take fame
Don’t need no credit card to ride this train
Tougher than diamonds and stronger than steel
You won’t feel it until you feel
You feel the power, feel the power of depression
That’s the power, that’s the power of depression
You feel the power of depression
You feel the power of depression
You feel the power of depression

Please get help. Even Christians ppl who love God and fear God, actively serving God do fall into depression.

Elijah was a classic example who was depressed. Immediately after a victory over the false prophets. He fled. He ask God to take his life.

Elijah in Depression 1 Kings (19:4, 10, 14)

Please recall the hymns of encouragement to carry us through. Some goes though my mind now.

  1. Softly and Tenderly Jesus is calling
  2. He will take care of you
  3. Jesus is a wonderful Saviour
  4. Our God is far greater
  5. How firm a foundation
  6. Burdens are lifted
  7. God will make a way
  8. Trust and Obey
  9. Nearer still nearer
  10. But continue thou


Make it 5 times. Once when I was much younger and I ran away from home. Another was going thru my O levels.

Next was when I shyed away from everyone and decided to escape to a place alone and start anew in Poly. Sadly I could not make it through my 2nd year, repeated and I just walked out of it and joined army. And that’s when my depression got worse.

Ok. So it seems I’m born with a crazy depressive mind then. Just a short note for myself so I can refer back in future.


Jim Elliot

•2017/06/27 • Leave a Comment

Sunday 2017.6.26 I had the opportunity to share the story of Jim Elliot to the JWS children at church. The commitment and conviction of Jim Elliot’s life and his 4 missionary friend to God and towards the native of the savage Aucas in the Ecuador jungle changed the life the tribe forever. No doubt they, all 5 missionaries, were savagely speared and machete to death, their non retaliation for self defense left a bitter note towards the fearsome warriors of aucas. God used their selfless defenseless act to open the way for the latter folks who were the killed missionaries spouses and sisters to live among them, and minister to the aucas.

Jim Elliot, a missionary who made contact with the savage Aucas in Ecuador. He is an evangelical Christian who was one of five missionaries killed while participating in Operation Auca, an attempt to evangelize the Huaorani people of Ecuador. In return, God honoured them through their wives who gave the gospel of Jesus to the tribes.





•2017/06/27 • Leave a Comment

Well, thank God for his strength and blessings. I’m just holding the door open for the folks to deliver and to be blessed. Whenever I enter a committee, people will start leaving, that the ministry is in good hand and it’s time for them to move on or to retire. I am not sure if this is a genuine remark or if I’m such a pain to be with. No doubt I do confess I am a very nice guy who accepts resignation easily and act on requests such as renewing the leadership. It is funny how everyone wants to be in a job in secular world, but everybody wants to get out of job in the spiritual world. I guess it all comes down to where your heart is.

Elijah was disappointed. He felt he was all alone. Everyone has deserted him and he was left to carry the burden alone. I did a google on Elijah Discouraged, and the following results shows.

Rather than wallowing in self pity – these are the 5 things that I should do.

#1 Take it to the Lord in prayer
#2 Take time to be Holy
#3 Take it not personally.
#4 Take it in your own stride
#5 Take it a bit a time



This device may be associated with existing mi account

•2017/03/09 • Leave a Comment

I had a terrible issue with my Xiaomi Note 1 (3G) version, “this device may be associated with existing mi account” problem.

After the phone was returned to my from my uncle, it has this dreaded error message. It will be automatically activated once the phone connects to the internet, and declare it is a lost phone. This is MY PHONE!

Nothing works even through the local means of going into Xiaomi recovery panel button configs (Power On with Volume UP or Power On with Volume DOWN depressed).


You need the ADB utility.

What would you need
1. Your phone
2. Data cable to connect phone to PC.

Now, put the phone into fastboot ( power +volume down ) mode
1. Connect ur phone to PC using cable data
2. Open COMMAND PROMPT from your WINDOWS (Win+R CMD)
3. Now type the commands :
1. You need to WIPE EVERYTHING on your PHONE
2. POWER ON with VOLUME UP Depressed.
3. You will see some prompts. Wipe Everything.
4. Power on it will load like a fresh phone.
5. Do not insert SIM or connect to WIFI else you will get locked.

1. Install ADB then issue the following commands when phone is connected.
2. adb reboot bootloader (Your phone will go into console mode showing fastboot)
3. fastboot devices (Your PC will show some info, mine showed 2 items)
4. fastboot -w (The PC will show some loaded drives, etc, and some failed message)
5. fastboot erase config (Your PC will be very fast here, 1 failed message, I ignored)
6. fastboot reboot (FIXED)


Herein lies the truth of our own Human Condition similar to the Xiaomi Phone. It was precious to me as I do not want it to be wasted. My soul which is worth much more than any phones is going to be wasted in hell. If only my fellow friends will realize that. Nothing that we do, or others do, will be able to remove this LOCKED state of our soul. We are LOCKED in SIN. LOCKED in our Destiny to wage war against the angry God because of our sinful nature.

Yet this GOD has provided the bridge – The Gospel bridge through Jesus, who DIED on the cross for our sin. Rose again the 3rd day. Now have freed us from our sinful state. The only condition needed is to realize our sad state, repent, get right with God, and live for JESUS as HE is the LORD of our LIFE. No turning back.

But we are all as an unclean thing, and all our righteousnesses are as filthy rags; and we all do fade as a leaf; and our iniquities, like the wind, have taken us. Isa 64:6

For there is not a just man upon earth, that doeth good, and sinneth not. Ecc 7:20

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. John 3:16

Would you my friend to realize we are locked in sin? Just like a locked lost phone?


Morning Coffee time with God

•2017/02/21 • Leave a Comment

Morning folks! Good quiet morning with God with cuppa.