My Testimony

I think my testimony can be broken down to 5 sections

 

  1. Christian start
  2. The Departure
  3. The return
  4. No turning back
  5. End Reflections

 

John 3:16-18,36
16For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. 17For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved. 18He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God. 36He that believeth on the Son hath everlasting life: and he that believeth not the Son shall not see life; but the wrath of God abideth on him.

Eph 2:8-9
8For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God:
9Not of works, lest any man should boast.

Rom 3:23
23For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;

Psalms 53:1
1 The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God. Corrupt are they, and have done abominable iniquity: there is none that doeth good.

Christian start

I grew up in a Christian family. I cannot recall when I accepted Jesus. I just grew up knowing Jesus is my Lord and Saviour. I think is sufficient to say my grandparents (father side) are Christian, almost all my Father’s side are Christians. On my mother side, one uncle is a Christian, one aunty is a Roman Catholic. I studied in a Methodist School.

I attended Church, Fellowship groups, church camps, served in Church in my childhood and youth days. All those were the best days in my life then. I was walking close to God, church folks. In one of my Youth Camp, our pastor gave a call, who is willing to serve God! Who is willing to give all to Jesus! I was very convicted, I know I want. The desire was there. The conviction was there. I wept. All I know was I want to serve God. I love God. I loved Jesus. I still remember where that camp at Singapore Christian Conference, Kampong Arang Road. I was very active in church serving then. Guitarist, singspiration, chairman,  etc, everything! I just want to serve!

The Departure

My departure from God was probably when I started to lead within YF EXCO. It was very challenging and I was the youngest heading the group. I started from Treasurer to Secretary to 2 year as president. The seniors did not want to head anymore and preferred the support positions. I was pretty disappointed to see why nobody wanted to step up to lead, but I went to lead anyway. (2015/1/6 – which means I started EXCO at 15yrs)

I faced tremendous resistance and huge amount of lectures (but of course being the novice that I am…) I completed my 4 year tenure in EXCO when I joined the army. (Reflection 2015/01/06: one will always face resistance and disappointments in leadership positions.. take it to the Lord in prayer)

Joining the army was a  challenge for me, as it was premature, I was a poly drop out so it’s a different cohort. I struggled in poly on my 2nd year, repeated but failed again and I finally decided to drop. I’m just not academically inclined.

In the army I worked hard hoping that I can be recognized and cross over to OCS, but the reality of life is no academic certification, no OCS. I was awarded the best platoon trainee and was posted to arty mortar for my trade course. Did my best and went to SISPEC.

In SISPEC, I did my best again hoping to cross over to OCS, but alas… I got injured and was downgraded for 9 months, out of course, which implies all my ambitions of becoming at least a Specialists or an Officer was dashed.

I picked up smoking and it was all natural for me. It felt good and I made even more friends from all levels in the army.

I continued doing my best as a store man who holds appointment of a HQ Battery Quartermaster which is a senior position when he left for Taiwan vocation. Untrained, novice but holding a senior position.

Finished army and started work in 1998, into the big world. Frank Sinatra – I did it my way.

Looking back from, I have wasted many years from God. I do not understand why ACCEPT for the following reason. SIN! I was sinning, and I could not let go of the sin. Cigarettes, Beer, Peers, recognition in the society. If I want to do well at work and in good relationship with my friends, I need to let go of Church. My sin stopped me from declaring myself as a Christian. What kind of testimony am I living?!? I’m better off saying I’m a non-Christian! No… God was out. So was Jesus. I left Galilee. I stopped attending Church altogether. Peace…. finally peace. I WAS SO HAPPY!!!! The struggle was GONE! God is out! LIFE is IN!! I’m FREE! I was climbing in my corporate runk and doing well. I was proud of my achievements. I was smoking and drinking like never before, not a drunkard, I can hold quite well, but definitely an alcoholic if labelled by anyone else. Occasionally, I have that little poke… begone poke.

The Return

I started to come back to Church I think 5 or 6 years ago? That would be like in 2004, now 2010. Yes, I’m a Sunday only Christian. Don’t want anybody in church to see me outside. So shameful, and disgraceful… (2015/1/6 Reflection: This is a good sign actually, the Holy Spirit is working)

2008, my 2nd boy was born. I cried (yes literally cried in tears) to God, help me stop smoking. I could not stop by myself. Praise and Thank God! I stopped smoking for coming 2 years. (2015/1/6 – I should have another page for my quit smoking testimony)

My last cigarette was probably 27 April 2008. It was a tremendous struggle, God made it bearable. That was only the first of my “vice” stopped. I’m still an alcoholic and other sins still hold me away from God.

End 2009, GOSH!!! THE SAME STRUGGLE I WENT through my youth days came!! “Choose you this day whom you will serve.” God! You know my answer! I want to serve you! I want to live right with you! Why must I go through all these struggles?!? Was I saved in the first place??! Can anybody who is not saved enjoy being with God when he was in the past?

Eph 5:16 Redeeming the time, because the days are evil.
How do I redeem the years of the time?!? No turning back. My soul is thirsting for God. I need to know God. I want to be everything for God. Alas, my testimony will probably be thrown out by many Christians. Will it be? This man? The smoker? The swearer? The alcoholic guy who would say yes anytime to beer?

Struggle 1.
You are condemn. You think you are saved, but you show no fruits. You are condemned! I struggled. I searched the scriptures day and night, prayerfully, struggling. I need to find the truth. AM I SAVED?!? God through his word confirmed my final conviction. Save by grace through Jesus alone! Nothing but the blood of Jesus! Hallelujah!

Struggle 2.
Is the bible I’m reading God’s word? You know the perennial debate between VPP and VPI and KJV vs other versions? I do not have any answer to this. All I know, it does not matter, you need to read something to know God. You need the bible to feed your soul. My soul is starving. I chose KJV as always and started reading daily. Sincere desire for God’s word is a good sign.

Struggle 3
Alcoholism and other sins. I knelt and cried to God as I cried back in 2008 to stop my smoking addiction. It became more bearable. I still fall, but I have stop drinking daily. I have been drinking beer practically everyday for the last many years. By God’s grace, my alcoholism gradually diminished! Yes, the conscious struugle, but now it is the victory through Jesus Christ! I want to obey Jesus. Jesus said “if you love me, keep my commandments.” YES YES YES! I love you Jesus!

Did I have only 3 struggles!? I thought I had more! How weak in the flesh are we, when we choose to walk away from God, we give ourselves over to the flesh.

NO TURNING BACK
“Choose you this day whom you will serve?” JESUS! was my immediate response. I woke up immediately with tears in my eyes. It was not tears of relieve but rather tears of fear. Reverential fear.

This happened before I started my struggle with my spiritual faith. I can never forget that fateful night. What was that?!? I have never had such an event happened before in all my “33 years” on earth!
Around thence, I foresook all my sins, I needed Jesus. I made a 180degree turn and ran back to Jesus. Joy! Peace! Everything started coming back! I felt like I was a youth again! That feeling! That joy! The relationship with God was back! I’m connected!!

I need you Jesus and I want you Jesus! Bring me back to your fold, I, this foolish rebellious sheep has wandered far! Many years I have wasted my time, many years of uselessness, many years of godlessness.
God opened my eyes and see how he has blessed me and been faithful to me. My wife is a Christian before thence, she was not converted by me, but she believed and I trust God had worked in her life. My son Samuel had been in Church from young, I did so as I thought I “need to”. My in laws although have not declared their believe in Jesus, but they attend church with us. (2015/1/6 – To add a page on my in laws testimony)

End Reflections

I Surrender all to Jesus.
All to Jesus, I surrender;
All to Him I freely give;
I will ever love and trust Him,
In His presence daily live.
I surrender all, I surrender all,
All to Thee, my blessèd Savior,
I surrender all.

All to Jesus I surrender;
Humbly at His feet I bow,
Worldly pleasures all forsaken;
Take me, Jesus, take me now.
All to Jesus, I surrender;
Make me, Savior, wholly Thine;
Let me feel the Holy Spirit,
Truly know that Thou art mine.

All to Jesus, I surrender;
Lord, I give myself to Thee;
Fill me with Thy love and power;
Let Thy blessing fall on me.
All to Jesus I surrender;
Now I feel the sacred flame.
O the joy of full salvation!
Glory, glory, to His Name!

Forget about my testimony before army, I failed since. My testimony probably started again in late 2009, till now is 2 months. (2015/1/6 – which means I wrote this entry sometime in 2010!)
Was there a radical change in my life? Yes.
Was there any gradual change in my last few years? Yes.
Did you feel like you are a total changed person? YES YES YES!!
The amazing power of God through Jesus his Son! The cleansing blood!

I have decided to follow Jesus;
I have decided to follow Jesus;
I have decided to follow Jesus;
No turning back, no turning back.

Though I may wonder, I still will follow;
Though I may wonder, I still will follow;
Though I may wonder, I still will follow;
No turning back, no turning back.

The world behind me, the cross before me;
The world behind me, the cross before me;
The world behind me, the cross before me;
No turning back, no turning back.
Though none go with me, still I will follow;
Though none go with me, still I will follow;
Though none go with me, still I will follow;
No turning back, no turning back.

Will you decide now to follow Jesus?
Will you decide now to follow Jesus?
Will you decide now to follow Jesus?
No turning back, no turning back.

Jesus gave me the indescribable joy and peace, that passeth all understanding. Won’t you accept Jesus too? Surrender fully to him. Only Jesus deserves all.

 

Updated on 2015/01/06

The prodigal son return was on 2009. It’s been 6 years and I’m still enjoying the sweet communion with Jesus Christ my Lord and my God. My daily walk had not been easy, I’ve lost many friends, but I’ve also gain much more in Christ, brother and sisters in Christ who we share the same common objectives, speak the same common language, and have the same desire… to glorify God.
It is not as if I’m out of this world, I’m still a sinner but saved by grace. To say that I do not sin anymore would be a lie, I still do but much more with conscience and frequently repenting and coming back to Jesus for forgiveness, much lesser than before.
Eph 4:28 – “Let him that stole steal no more: ”

Am I saved? I can now testify with confidence that I am saved because my works justifies my faith. My works shows that my faith is alive. My eternal belief and hope is in Jesus and I will cling on to that to my last dying breathe.
My priority now is no longer work but rather – God , Family , Social and finally work. In the past my priority would have been Work, Social, Family then God, the opposite sequence.

God had been good, he had been extremely merciful to me and my family. All praise and glory to Jesus Christ who had saved me from my sins.


One Response to “My Testimony”

  1. hi mr sim,
    Impressed by the transformation of a typical family’s blog into a pilgrim’s blog for Christ.

    hey, i am also a simple guy. Grew up in a multi-religious family. Almost all my father’s side are Christians,while on my mother’s side, idol worshippers. So I visited temples, attended sunday school (BP church) and studied in methodist school. In short, had many vices including binge drinking and nightlife. Then one day in 1998, I fell asleep one night while driving and almost smashed the car.

    From then on, “Choose you this day whom you will serve.”

    Visited many churches, both big & small but the Lord was not to be found (1 Kings19:11-12). Only in 2005, did the verses from Prov23.29-35 hit me right on the head while I was drinking & tipsy. That was the last straw and I had to let go of my idol of alcohol. His Word is final. Thank God for His Love & Mercy that He didn’t allow me to perish back in 1998. It would certainly be hell(1 Cor 6.9-10).

    Shalom,
    Joshua

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

 
%d bloggers like this: